Oftentimes, boundaries are looked at in a negative manner. However, in reality, they are something of utmost importance. Whether it was with your friends, family, romantic partner, or even towards yourself, it is extremely crucial for you to set boundaries for yourself.
What are Boundaries?
A boundary is “an imaginary line that separates your physical space, your feelings, needs, and responsibilities from others.” Boundaries tell others how they are supposed to treat you, informing them what you find acceptable and what you do not find acceptable. Without the boundaries you set for yourself, it becomes easier for people to take advantage of you without knowing where to stop. Always remember that boundaries are set by yourself towards others, and not the opposite way around. It is about you recognizing what your emotional, and even physical, needs are and honoring them.
The Advantages of Boundaries
Below is a list of benefits that come with setting your own boundaries –
- Boundaries allow you to create a space where you can make your own decisions and be your own judge.
- Because you are tending to your emotional needs, boundaries are considered a form of self-care that help you in the long run.
- When you learn how to communicate your boundaries, expectations from those around you become more realistic and healthier bonds are formed.
- Setting your boundaries provide you with emotional and physical protection from anything that may harm you or make you feel uncomfortable.
Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries set in your relationship with your romantic partner are just as important as other types of boundaries in any other kind of relationship. Effective boundaries create the setting for a healthy relationship and establish healthy communication patterns between both parties. When you communicate your boundaries, you and your partner will be able to outline expectations and what the consequences of breaking them are. Anger and resentment will decrease as well.
The Types of Boundaries
In a relationship, there are five recommended types of boundaries to set –
- Physical
If you are uncomfortable with certain physical displays of affection or if you like to have your personal space when sleeping next to them, these are the kinds of things you can communicate to your partner!
- Emotional
When it comes to emotional boundaries, it is important for you to be in touch with your own feelings at first. Between you and your partner, it is important for each of you to know when each of your feelings begins and ends in order to honor the feelings of the other. If you notice, for example, that your partner does not know how to comfort you in certain cases, a boundary might be needed there.
- Sexual
These boundaries entail everything that have to do with your sex life and any sort of physical intimacy you and your partner share. Make sure to communicate what is and is not okay for the both of you, what each of you is comfortable with, and what sorts of expectations both of you have.
- Intellectual
Intellectual boundaries refer to moments where you and your partner might discuss certain topics such as political views. If you feel like you are unable to properly voice your opinion to your partner when discussing certain topics, a boundary might be needed.
- Financial
Financial boundaries have everything to do with money. It is quite essential for you and your partner to discuss your spending and savings lifestyle. For example, this can include a discussion regarding whether you want to have joint or separate accounts. It is very important to set financial boundaries in a relationship because, oftentimes, such arguments can lead to a big strain on the relationship.
Establishing boundaries is sometimes easier said than done. It might be difficult to start such a conversation in certain cases due to fear and other possible reasons. However, taking that first step is the most important one. Later on, you and your partner can always work on adjusting things when need be!