Anais Nin once said, “we do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” Truer words have not been spoken when it comes to embracing our own emotional safety as caregivers. Most of us have known the feeling of being safe on the lap of a loved one when we were children. Feel-good places and the feelings that accompany them may become imprinted in our hearts and in our memories. Sometimes, the memories fade but the feeling remains, and then sometimes those feelings are betrayed by life circumstances as we grow up.
What is Emotional Safety?
Emotional safety comes from within us. It is the “knowing” of what we are feeling – the ability to be able to identify our feelings and then take the ultimate risk of feeling them. Granted, in the presence of war, childhood neglect, trauma, and abuse of all kinds, we may never have known the feeling of being safe at all. It may be absolutely foreign to us. So, we may believe that safety is a dream that will never come true. Sometimes, people react very differently to the same circumstances.
The Importance of Emotional Safety
Emotional safety is the foundation for a loving and healthy relationship. It is about establishing trust with another person and feeling safe enough to be open and vulnerable with them. To put it simply, emotional safety is feeling secure enough to truly express yourself with someone and show up as your most authentic self.
The Benefits of Emotional Safety
When you find yourself in an emotionally safe relationship, chances are, you will experience many advantages as a result. Benefits of emotionally safe relationships include –
- You feel valued and valuable.
- You can truly be yourself without the risk of judgment.
- You can show your weaknesses without being taken advantage of.
- You can share boldly and express yourself freely.
- You feel seen, heard, and understood.
How to Create Emotional Safety
These are some ways in which you can build emotional safety –
- Respect boundaries and consent including physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, or financial boundaries.
- Pay attention to nonverbal communication such as body language, vocal tone, posture, etc.
- Be an active listener in order to help the person talking to you feel more heard and understood.
- Practice transparency to encourage building trust.
While it may take time to build emotional safety, the result is a relationship built on mutual trust, respect, and unconditional support. Not only will you find yourself seen, heard, and understood, but you will find yourself feeling more connected to yourself and your partner. Try to be patient with each other, and then watch the benefits of being open and vulnerable unfold.