Looking at the title, many people would think that this article will criticize masculinity and encourage men to not be “masculine”. However, that is obviously not the case. What is meant by “masculinity box” is the traditional gender norms that deprive men from their own identity and eventually become toxic, hence the name “toxic masculinity”. Toxic masculinity is not a concept that claims that men are vile or innately violent. It is not a description of what masculinity is. It is not body building and sports. Again, some men may choose to adhere to these norms by their own will, but others may want to demolish them for specific reasons, which will be discussed throughout the article. Also, many apparently believe that toxic masculinity is some “liberal concept or ideology” that is only prevalent in the West. Unironically, the people who make this claim have little to no knowledge about liberalism and were not victims of toxic masculinity themselves. Nonetheless, the men desiring to dismantle it are usually ridiculed by society since they are rebelling against the preconceived notions in our society. In an Arab society, there many reasons as to why a man would want to dismantle the masculinity box and they are as follows –
- It suppresses their individuality.
Many men do not adhere to attributes and traits that are deemed as “masculine” in our society, hence they are scorned with preposterous remarks such as “man up” or “get a grip”, which render them to suppress or eradicate their own persona to fit in this masculinity box.
- It acts as an impediment to their desired career.
The two careers that “should” be pursued by a man are an engineering or a medical career. This means that any man wishing to pursue any career in the liberal arts field will be ridiculed or trivialized, for they apparently would be a dishonor to their family, and they would not make as much money. Why is a man wishing to pursue a career that he is passionate about a dishonor to his family?
- It condemns their distinct hobbies.
The stereotypical masculine hobbies are football or basketball, which are mostly present in Arab schools, too. Consequently, hobbies like dancing, singing, or even drawing are not as encouraged for men since they are deemed as “feminine”. They are hobbies that would stoop the masculinity of the man. This yet again locks the man in a cage, making him unable to freely practice his desired hobby.
- It demolishes their creativity.
Research conducted by a professor at Duke University has shown that creativity is directly associated with more “masculine” traits such as boldness and risk-taking. In society today, women are regarded as more creative than men, although the research does debunk the aforementioned claim. Creativity has no gender; both men and women can be creative since it all depends on qualities and attributes – not their gender.
- It eradicates their mental well-being.
The man is usually compelled to be the manliest and most ferocious man he can be meaning that he should deal with any of his struggles by himself. This implies that he is deprived from asking for help from a professional or any close friend in general, for that would be a huge degradation to his said masculinity.
- It makes them constantly seek external validation.
In his Man Enough book, Justin Baldoni mentioned that many men do not commit some actions to not get derided or mocked by other men. He mentions how this starts in middle school and keeps continuing until the man decides to terminate it. Hence, many men would want to do certain things for getting validation from other men and boosting their self-esteem. However, this is not a healthy way of bolstering self-esteem.