Emotional regulation is “the ability to exert control over our own emotional state.” There is not one way to engage in such a type of regulation. There are different ways to do it, and not every way works with every single person. It is important for us to discover what works for us best.
Controlling Our Emotions
No one can control their emotions. Your feelings are your feelings at the end of the day. No matter what, your feelings are valid because they are yours and only yours. What we can control, however, is how we react and respond.
Emotional regulation works to reduce the intensity of our emotions when we need them to be reduced. A simple example would include grounding yourself if you are experiencing a panic attack or intense anxiety. That is you reducing the intensity of your emotions and regulating them as a means to promote your mental well-being in one way or the other.
There are different things we can do to regulate our emotions. Suppression is actually one of them. While suppressing our emotions is often quite negative, it works in the moment as a way to “regulate”. One other thing we can do is what we call “reappraisal”, which is to change the way we think about something in order to change our emotional response as a result.
The Importance of Emotional Regulation
Besides the control of emotions being something that is “socially acceptable”, it helps us avoid the regret of bursting out, especially in times of anger when we say things that we did not really mean in the heat of the moment. In turn, emotional dysregulation could have a negative impact on our mental and emotional well-being, as well as on our social and personal relationships.