Trigger warning: this article discusses abuse and may be triggering.
When individuals are violated physically, psychologically, or even verbally, they may suffer from immense setbacks that impact and deteriorate their mental health. They may develop certain disorders as a result of their traumatic experience, and this impacts their social relations with family and friends. Many individuals are not aware of how to interact with a victim of abuse, and this lack of knowledge negatively impacts the social relations they have with the victim. Zooming into the Middle east, this lack of knowledge is intensified mainly because abuse is not really discussed.
In the cases where it is, there is a larger focus on how to deal with victims who have experienced abuse freshly – the immediate mechanisms to use – but there is not much emphasis on what to do in the long run. What do you do when your sister, brother, daughter, or friend develop a psychological disorder as a result of what they went through? How do you act around your friend who has a panic attack when the door slams or when they get triggered by a random shirt? What do you do when they experience severe depressive symptoms? How do you show your family member that you are with them every step of the way?
It is not easy. To have to see someone you care about suffering, and not knowing what to do about it, is not easy. For one, you will have to be patient and understanding. People who have gone through different forms of trauma have different ways of coping and processing what happened to them. So, not everyone reacts in the same way. It is essential that you understand that first and foremost.
How to Act Around Individuals with a History of Abuse
There are numerous pointers that must be taken into account when dealing with survivors of abuse. In fact, studies show that women who have gone through abuse tend to be reluctant to seek formal help, so it would not be right to push them and force them to seek therapy. You could advise them, but not force them.
Support – an informal type of help – is an essential part of recovery. A study done on women in Australia had the intention of finding out what abused women want from their family members and friends. It was identified that helpful support was the preferred type of support – where friends and family should validate the feelings of the survivor, be encouraging, understanding, and affirmative towards them. Additionally, empathy and respect are also essential.
Moreover, a few pointers regarding how to behave around survivors of abuse are as follows –
- Make it clear that you are available for that person and make it clear that you are here to stay. Clear your schedule and make time to just be with someone that very much needs you.
- Traumatic experiences may make many feel uneasy, and because of this they tend to push a survivor to move on before they are ready to. Please, do not do this. It will not give you the results you want.
- Do not take their actions or feelings to heart. These feelings could include anger, fear, sadness, and even irritability – all in their extreme forms. This is normal and common in many victims of abuse. Just be patient.
- Allow them to speak of their trauma if they want to. Do not insist or inquire about what happened if they do not want to talk about it.
- If they do not want to speak with you, you can check their social relations and see if there is someone else that they can and are able to talk to.
- Try to get them to go out, engage in certain activities, and socialize with others. Exercising is also a good idea because it reduces stress.