Narcissistic personality disorder is one of the many types of personality disorders. It is a mental disorder in which an individual has an inflated sense of his/her own importance. It comprises a deep need for constant attention and admiration.
A narcissist’s love towards themselves is reflected through the eye of others; this is a common misconception taken as “self-love”. However, narcissists tend to dislike themselves and may suffer with immense self-esteem issues. Their arrogance and their self-flattery are just a mask beneath the self-loathing they do not admit.
Narcissists tend to project highly outwards in their disdain for and criticism of others. They tend to release their inner self-aggression towards the ones around them to lift their ego. They are too afraid to look at themselves. Narcissists find it hard to find love towards themselves, as all they want is just to seek validation from others.
Overt vs. Covert Narcissism
Covert narcissists are less exaggerated narcissists and tend to more introverted. However, overt narcissists tend to have more extroverted behaviors within their interactions with others.
Nonetheless, both the covert and overt narcissists have a sense of self-importance as though the world revolves around them, and they tend to fantasize about success. Overt and covert individuals meet the same diagnosis criteria, whether they are extroverted or introverted. Both have a shortness of capacity to regulate their self-esteem.
Narcissists in a Relationship
Long-term relationships can be quite difficult for a covert narcissist, as they often tend to get hurt by the sense of lack of partnership in the relationship or if their partner does not give them what they think they need. There is no compromising being in a relationship with a narcissist, and it can get exhausting for a partner to deal with someone who expects so much, especially when they do not give back.
Narcissistic relationships are likely to be very challenging. Narcissistic partners tend to have difficulty loving someone else. They are merely so focused on themselves rather than their partner and fail to see their partner as a whole. They only see their partner in terms of how they fill their void. Narcissistic partners lack the ability to have empathy or listen to their partners’ feelings. This lack leads to trouble in the relationship and hard feeling towards each other.
Signs of Narcissism
When we think of narcissists, we instantly picture someone who is arrogant and egotistic and someone who is bossy and has the world revolving around them. Someone who has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder is a person that exhibits lack of empathy and at least some of the following traits:
- High sense of entitlement and exaggerates their achievements to others
- Believes to have unlimited power, success, beauty, and love
- Believes that they are special and should only associate with other high-status people
- Needs to have constant attention and admiration on them
- Expects everyone to treat them with specialty
- Takes advantage of and manipulates others to have their own goals achieved
- Believes people are jealous of them and want what they have
- Can act rude and have arrogant behaviors
Causes of a Narcissistic Personality
What causes a narcissistic personality is unknown, as is the case with other mental health disorders and personality developments. The cause behind a narcissistic personality being developed is complex and could be linked to the environment, genetics, or neurobiology.
However, narcissistic personalities often develop at a stage when a child’s brain is still developing and could be changed due to lack of support from parents or excessive adoration. This could also be due to genetically inherited characteristics a child picks up and a connection between the brain’s behavioral changes of thinking.
How can I deal with a narcissist?
- Accept them for who they truly are
- Speak up whenever they do something that bothers you
- Set healthy boundaries, either in a professional workspace, friendship, or even a relationship
- Find specific support that suites them
- Demand action – this does not mean forcing them to change, but guiding them to become a better version of themselves