Loyalty is such an important factor in all types of relationships, and it is emphasized in all of them. Rarely have good friendships survived without loyalty. Yet, no one speaks of being loyal to yourself first and foremost. Just as loyalty is crucial in all forms of relationships, it is also crucial in your very own relationship with yourself. Showing up for yourself and not betraying yourself is downplayed majorly, yet it is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
What Does “Showing Up” for Yourself Mean?
All it means is that you put yourself first and take your needs into consideration. It means that you do not break promises to yourself, nor do you betray yourself by neglecting yourself. It means that you show kindness to yourself, as well as respect and honor your needs – whatever they may be. It means being patient with yourself and not resentful for not completing things on time or taking on more than you can handle. It means being honest with yourself and acknowledging the fact that you are capable of so many things. In other words, it means believing in yourself. It also means not giving up on your goals and listening to what your body and mind needs. These are all definitions outlined by a licensed therapist, Sana Powell, who holds an M.A. in Psychology and goes by the username @curly_therapist on Instagram.
Mostly though, showing up for yourself means giving yourself the worth and importance that should make it impossible to hurt yourself – whether it is by neglecting your needs, breaking promises you made to yourself, or the like – because that is what you do when you do not show up for yourself. When you do not show up for yourself, it is like you kick yourself to the curb and disregard your needs. You should feel worthy and important enough to be treated by yourself in the proper and loving manner.
The Importance of Showing up for Yourself
As Dr. Rebecca Ray puts it, “there is nothing quite as disconcerting as the sense of abandonment that comes from leaving yourself behind.”
Ask yourself, would you leave your best friend behind when they need you the most? Would you promise them that you will get to this task at 5 and then not? What about if they tell you that they feel off and they do not know what is wrong with them? Would you continue on with your day as if they did not tell you anything? The answer is no. You would not. So, why do you find it so easy to disregard your needs and downplay the fact that you do it?
If you break a promise to yourself once, maybe it would not be a big deal to you. However, when you do it multiple times so much that it becomes a habit, you would be setting yourself up for self-destruction. What may feel like a small betrayal is actually not that small. A “small betrayal” is a catastrophe when it is done to someone else, so why is it not a catastrophe when you do it to yourself? Why is it so easy to just forget about your needs and neglect yourself when you need yourself the most?
It is so essential that we understand this habit as debilitating and destructive, because it is not an act of self-love – quite the opposite actually. This habit that we do showcases the lack of peace we have with ourselves. It is so easy to just betray ourselves and forget our needs because we have grown so accustomed to it.
Break the habit. Unlearn learned tendencies. Know your worth.