With social media and dating apps taking over the current generation, it is no surprise that many have turned to online dating as a romantic experience. Getting to know someone can be tremendously nerve-wracking, especially for those who have experienced unhealthy relationships in the past. It is not easy beginning to open up to someone, whether it be face-to-face or online, and in both cases, there are certain elements that should be adhered to before delving headfirst into your dating life. Unfortunately, with online dating, these elements can sometimes become lost in both fear and excitement and can ultimately result in an individual being hurt, manipulated, and even disrespected.
Putting yourself and your needs first when dating in person or online is not something to be ashamed of. In fact, adhering to your personal needs will ultimately benefit you in terms of finding the right person that will share similar morals and values to you in terms of both your dating and your personal life. Below is a list of elements that are key to learn and normalize for yourself when looking to delve into online dating to further help you recognize these needs and values.
- Honesty
There is a power in being clear and open about what you want in your dating life. Whether it being that you are looking for something long-term or just something casual, do not shy away from being upfront with people! Additionally, it is a great way to avoid blurred lines and miscommunication, as well as eliminate red flags when getting to know someone online.
- Consent
Do not underestimate the importance of mutual respect, regardless of whether or not there is a screen between you and the individual you are getting to know. It is important to make sure that you and the person that you are talking to are on the same page at all times, especially due to the fact that it is more likely that certain messages can be interpreted and perceived differently when you are not conversing face-to-face. If you are uncomfortable with a certain comment or request from the individual that you are speaking to, you are allowed to disregard it. They should accept it, and vice versa. No means no.
- Vulnerability
We are all human! There should be no shame in showing different sides of yourself to people. Owning your fears and insecurities is a courageous and rewarding thing to do and may even ultimately allow you to overcome them. Additionally, displaying your emotions clearly will allow you to open up more, as well as feel comfortable with yourself and the individual that you are getting to know – and if they do not understand it, you have a clear red flag!
- Disappointment
Online dating, like getting to know someone in person, can be disappointing, and that is okay! Chemistry is mysterious – sometimes it is there, and other times it just is not. This can be discouraging at times but there is no shame in continuing to explore your curiosity safely while maintaining boundaries and communicating those boundaries to the individual on the other side of the screen.
- Boundaries
It is important to know yourself well enough to say what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with in terms of dating, be it in person or online. Knowing what you are comfortable with and what your limits are will allow you to venture into online dating confidently while still pertaining to your personal safety. You are allowed to voice your limits openly and expect people to respect them as you should respect theirs.