If you are holding on to an iron that only burns you, you need to learn to let go. The same can be said for any toxifying thing that is in your life – whether it is a memory, an emotion, a previous or current partner, or even a parent. Holding on to something that is damaging both physically and mentally, can only ruin you – nothing else. This is why we need to learn to accept our damaging circumstances and the fact that we cannot change them and let go of them.
By letting go, I do not just mean physically, I mean mentally as well. For example, you can have a toxic parent that you still live with, but no longer allow yourself to be as impacted by their actions. You can still remember a bad memory, but no longer be stuck in the past by it. You can accept and feel anger or sadness, but not let it completely overtake you and control you.
Learning to let go means learning to take control of your emotions and your circumstances. It means refusing to be controlled by the past. It means searching for forgiveness and understanding within yourself. It means no longer blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. It means no longer accepting circumstances that you know will damage your mental health. Finally, learning to let go means moving forward.
Learning to let go does not mean dismissing your emotions or circumstances. On the contrary, it means that you need to face your emotions and circumstances, process their occurrence, feel them all, and finally, release.
How can I learn to let go?
- The first step to learning to let go is acknowledgement. Acknowledge your emotions, or your toxic parents, partners, friends, or traumatic memories. Acknowledge them all.
- Understand your circumstances and understand that they bring you emotional distress.
- Accept that there are some things that you cannot change – be it a toxic person, an unwanted memory, or an unwanted emotion.
- Feel the emotions that come with the acknowledgement and acceptance.
- Practice mindfulness techniques like meditation.