Ask yourself this, “who are you comparing yourself to frequently?” If you cannot think of an answer, think of the last time you scrolled through your Instagram feed and felt the need to compare yourself to others or to someone in particular and made yourself feel envious or some sort of way – or even made you feel as though your life is not eventful or is boring in comparison to theirs. Nonetheless, think about this – social media is just a place for show. Nobody is perfect and no one has that perfect Instagram life. You only see a fraction of their lives on social media.
Here is the thing about comparing yourself to others – you often end up thinking about things that never reallymattered to you or that do not even matter in general. Start looking at the bigger picture. Start finding gratitude in the things you do and in the way you look. Avoid going through your Instagram feed constantly looking at different peopleand different lives. Spending half your day scrolling through social media is known to increase self-deprecating thoughts, depression, and envy, making you feel bad about yourself and building this subconscious idea in your head that you are not good enough or your life is not good enough.
As human beings, it is normal to compare yourself to other people, either your friends, people online, or even family. We overanalyze and interpret how other people do things and the way they are as a person. Whether it is them being liked by everyone or having things that you do not have, we tend to compare ourselves to them even if it is the smallest thing. However, what gets out of hand is when you revolve yourself around how others are living instead of looking at your own achievements and looking after yourself.
The part where it becomes a toxic habit is when everything turns into competition to you. For example, it may include the need to dress up to make sure that you are dressed better than everyone else or the need to do the most just to outshine others. This becomes toxic when you change yourself into a persona that you are not just to please others and show off what you have got instead of appreciating and being already grateful for what you have.
Although showing off your talents, style, or whatever it is that makes you happy is good, it becomes toxic when you donot do it to please yourself, but to create this fake image to others that this is who you are. By doing so, you are mentally exhausting yourself, this will cause you to feel constantly anxious and will not benefit you mentally at all. You cannot create a happy life if you do not feel it on the inside. Do what makes you happy instead of looking at what others are doing and comparing yourself to them.
How to stop comparing yourself to others
Become aware and avoid your triggers. Start by noticing situations that are causing you to compare yourself. Avoid following people on social media who are constantly bragging about themselves and their life. Avoid going to places that make you feel uncomfortable about yourself.
Start by making a list of those who and what you frequently feel envious of or compare yourself to and write how each thing affects you negatively. Feel free to write down everything that you feel negative about and how/why it is actually a waste of your time and energy. Try to avoid comparison triggers, especially if what you are doing and who you are in contact with do not add any value to your life.
Remind yourself constantly that what you see on the outside cannot be compared to the inside. People tend to create what you see on social media, no matter who they are or what they do for a living. Constantly remind yourself that theyare human beings at the end of the day and that everyone has different lives in and out of social media. Everyone has good and bad days – no one lives a perfect life. You never know what goes on behind close doors.
Keep in mind that money does not buy happiness, and nothing will buy you happiness other than yourself. It is wellestablished that wealth is associated with happiness. However, keep reminding yourself that it does not. It is important that you feel content with yourself. Money and materialistic things are just a part of life’s temporary joy.
Practice gratitude everyday. Be grateful for all the good things that come your way, regardless of what they are. Start by being grateful for the clothes you wear, the food you eat, and just the simplicity of life. When you start feeling fully grateful, you would not feel a lack in yourself, and you would not crave things you might not be able to have in the moment. You would stop feeling negatively about yourself. Even if you feel triggered by that ugly feeling of negativity by comparing yourself to others, stop and think about what is good in your life right now.
Start by using comparison as motivation to improve. It is such a waste of time thinking about others and their lives when you could be spending all that time thinking about yourself. Look at those who you admire – those are worthy of your time – and make a healthy comparison on how to improve yourself and catch on to their good traits. For example, looking up to an artist who paints really well can help you to dream to be like them, which leads you to start by working on yourself to achieve the same achievements and improve on yourself to reach to their success. That is healthier than negatively comparing yourself to anyone else.