What is it: Resilience?

According to the American Psychological Association, resilience refers to both the process and the result of effectively adjusting to adverse or challenging life circumstances. It involves being able to adapt to both internal and external pressures and have the mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility to do so. It is also about the extent or ability to utilize coping mechanisms and regain strength from any setback, obstacle, or hardship. 

Resilience can exhibit through the ability to possess effective emotional regulation, self-compassion, and confidence, as well as having problem-solving skills. Additionally, resilient people are able to have a good sense of control in their lives, where they can still have control over their decisions and redirect their emotions in a healthy manner even if they experience a situation that was not predictable. Resilient people are also people who have mindsets that focus on survival, getting through a circumstance, adopt a positive outlook, and are able to reach out for help when needed. They demonstrate mental strength and agility. 

No less anguish, sadness, or worry is felt by those who are resilient than by others. Instead, they deal with such challenges in ways that promote strength and growth through healthy coping mechanisms, and they frequently come out stronger than they were before. It is important to note that even those who are resilient go through stress, mental turmoil, and pain. However, working through that emotional pain and suffering, especially in a healthy manner, is a sign of resilience.

How to Build Resilience

Although some people have an upper hand at developing resilience early on due to genetics, it is also possible to build resilience and develop it later on in life. This requires some effort, as well as having a sufficient and supportive social circle. Building resilience comes from improving self-confidence and self-efficacy, which can be obtained and expanded through these following ways –

  • Going to therapy – as it allows us to feel validated and unpack our experiences and personalities, which can also help us reconstruct our thoughts and change our perspective for the better.
  • Developing communication skills – by learning how to express our thoughts and emotions, we are able to articulate ourselves well, make connections with others, reach out for help, and reflect effectively on situations. 
  • Being an action-taker – attempt to take risks and see problems as something that need to be fixed rather than an opportunity for desperation. 
  • Working on stress-management – whether by signing up for a workshop, seeing a professional, or even taking deep breaths before responding to anyone, stress management is a crucial step to building resilience, as it allows us to become less reactive and promotes clear thinking. 
  • Engaging in healthy habits – proper sleep, exercise, eating in moderation, and many more healthy habits can promote resilience as they reduce stress levels. 
  • Building close connections – finding support through hard times makes a great difference in how we process and act through trauma and hardship.
  • Reflection – activities such as journaling and practicing gratitude help us stay grounded and allow us to reflect on our morals, beliefs, and thought patterns, which promotes self-awareness, self-love, and clarity. Identifying our values and working to fulfill them rather than just focusing on an end goal improves patience, acceptance, and resilience. 

A word of advice: notice and reflect on what kind of coping strategies come up when you are going through a difficult time. Write these habits down and evaluate if they are serving you or harming you. Once you reflect, the first step to building resilience is accomplished, and now you can work on introducing and maintaining healthy alternatives that will promote emotional regulation and a changed perspective.