Almost each and every one of us has had a point in life in which we wanted to change something, whether about our emotional self, our physical appearance, way of thinking, or even attributes of the mentality of other people. Luckily, some things in life are easy to adjust to and others are able to be changed or altered. However, unfortunately, not everything in life can go the way that you want it to, and this is where Radical Acceptance must come into play.
What Is Radical Acceptance?
Radical acceptance is a distress tolerance skill that can help you in facing painful emotions and experiences by accepting them fully without judgment. It is a tool used to reduce unnecessary suffering and increase our ability to navigate through difficult situations.
“Radical acceptance is not approval, but rather completely and totally accepting with our mind, body, and spirit that we cannot currently change the present facts, even if we do not like them,” says therapist Andrew Harris and writer of #StayHomeStayHopeful at Hope Way. “By choosing to radically accept the things that are out of our control, we prevent ourselves from becoming stuck in unhappiness, bitterness, anger, and sadness, and we can stop suffering.”
When Do You Use Radical Acceptance?
Paying attention to your thoughts can help you to notice when you are fighting reality. Usually, “should” statements are a clue for when you should tune into radically accepting something. Examples include: “it should not be this way,” “this should not be happening to me,” “I should not be this way,” or “I should not have done that.”
The reason for this is that there is an underlying judgment in these thoughts, as well as a hidden belief that things should be different. Refusing to accept reality can keep you stuck in bitterness, shame, anger, unhappiness, guilt, or other painful emotions.
Other common inconveniences may often leave us feeling frustrated, annoyed, anxious, stressed, etc. We can practice radical acceptance by meeting these realities with acceptance rather than resistance.
How Do You Practice Radical Acceptance?
Practicing radical acceptance involves being in tune with your emotions. Here are some steps to help you begin to practice radical acceptance.
- Notice that you are fighting reality.
- Turn your mind towards acceptance.
- Put an end to judging the situation or thing you want to change or feel that you cannot accept.
- Acknowledge that accepting yourself does not imply weakness or mean giving up and staying in the same place.
- Play it up. Even if you are not able to radically accept something, act as if you can.
A common misconception is that radical acceptance is one and done. Radical acceptance is a process. Once you begin to practice radical acceptance, the idea becomes easier in times when you cannot change something.