Abandonment fear is the fear or anxiety of people you are close to leaving you. This fear may be overwhelming and may be caused by experiencing loss, neglect, or rejection early in life. People struggling with abandonment fear may have difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. The behavior modeled by parents and caregivers during childhood can influence attachment style and future security and safety in relationships. Inconsistent emotional support, attention, and closeness from key figures can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and fear.
Signs of Abandonment Trauma
Some signs of abandonment fear include –
- Anxiety or depression
- Difficulty trusting others
- Developing relationships quickly
- Codependency
- Trouble establishing and maintaining healthy relationships
- Avoiding people or situations where you could experience rejection or separation
- Staying in a relationship that is not healthy
- Struggling to regulate emotions and distress
Causes of Abandonment Trauma
Some causes of abandonment trauma include –
- Childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect, and abandonment or environmental issues such as poverty.
- The loss associated with the death of a loved one, especially when it is sudden and unexpected.
- Issues in adult relationships such as relationship conflict, marital discord, or infidelity can stem from fear of abandonment and can foster feelings of anxiety.
- It is crucial for individuals to feel supported, safe, and have their emotional needs met from a young age. Feeling unheard, unseen, and unappreciated plays a role in problematic attachment styles and abandonment issues.
How to Cope with Abandonment Trauma
- Learn and utilize relaxation techniques
- Establish a support system with trusting relationships
- Self-reflection on thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to your fears
- Engaging in self-care strategies, hobbies, or activities
- Taking care of yourself through regular sleep, balanced meals, and exercise
- Seeking out therapy if abandonment fears are disrupting your psychological health and relationships
Feeling neglected or abandoned can be traumatizing. However, it is important to know that you are not alone and that you are loved. Processing trauma takes time. If you are suffering from abandonment issues, seek the help of a mental health professional or healthcare provider to discuss treatment options.