The fear of abandonment is often a common root for anxiety with many people and can stem from the lack of emotional and physical care or as a result of experiencing a traumatic event during childhood. This can later become a significant problem when it comes to building long-term relationships and trusting others in the long run.
The human brain needs a significant amount of emotional and physical care in order to develop in a healthy way. When those needs are unmet, it can later lead to a fear of abandonment that affects day-to-day life as an adult. It can also develop later during adulthood due to traumatic experiences and have the same significant effect later in life.
The Three Types of Abandonment
There are three types of abandonment issues to look out for: abandonment in children, emotional abandonment, and abandonment anxiety in relationships.
- Abandonment in Children
Many young children can often experience separation anxiety during childhood and may experience anxiousness and worry when leaving a parent for a short period of time. Addressing possible symptoms early on in their childhood may help avoid problems occurring in the future. This could be through constant reassurance of love and care, as well as building routine and plans so children know what to expect from them. In case a child may be experiencing a fear of abandonment as a result of losing a parent or neglect, finding a therapist for the child at a young age may also help them at an early stage.
- Emotional Abandonment
The physical act of losing someone is not necessary to cause a fear of abandonment. Sometimes, when the emotional needs of a person are not met, it can make them feel underappreciated, neglected, and alone. Due to the fear of having that happen again, it can be hard for a person who experiences emotional abandonment to form long-term relationships later on. They would possibly have to learn to trust people all over again and may need constant reassurance from the other person to be able to do that.
- Abandonment Anxiety in Relationships
The fear of abandonment that can develop at any stage can make developing relationships very difficult for someone. It can be hard for someone to be vulnerable and open up to a significant other or have issues trusting a partner to be faithful. Some warning signs to look out for is if one person in the relationship is giving too much or too little, insecurity in the relationship, lack of emotional intimacy, envy, and trust issues.
How to Help Someone with a Fear of Abandonment
- Start the conversation and let them know how you feel. Be the first one to open up the conversation and let them know if their actions are affecting you and the relationship as well. Encourage to them to talk about their side of the story and maybe why they have these fears in the first place.
- Provide support and validate their fears. Normalize their feelings and any trust issues they may have and give them any support and reassurance that they may need. It is important for them to know that their feelings are also valid and that they are not extreme.
- Actively listen to them and be their confidante. Listen to any worries and fears that they may have and give them the free safe space to talk whenever they may need it. Allow yourself to just sit, listen, and reflect with them.
- Guide them towards professional help if necessary. If a child may be going through feelings of abandonment after a traumatic event or an adult friend may be going through something similar that is affecting their relationships, it can be helpful to guide them towards seeking professional help.