Being in love can be an overwhelming experience – it depends on you and your partner to turn those overwhelming feelings into something positive or negative. Healthy relationships are supposed to help you and encourage you to grow and become not only the best versions of yourselves together, but independently, too! Unfortunately, overwhelming negative feelings in a relationship are not uncommon and can be one of the major reasons that your relationship falls apart. This can be because the excitement of beginning a new relationship may cause an individual to forget certain boundaries set for themselves, which may cause them to dive in headfirst without thinking about the repercussions that this may have on their lives and self-growth. Below is a list of things you should never give up for a relationship that will allow you to keep your romance happy and healthy without compromising your own values.
Your Independence
Whether that is spending time with yourself or your loved ones or making a purchase without having to justify it, your independence is one of the main things you should never give up for a relationship. You and your partner do not come as a pair. Despite the fact that you are together, it is important to have your own lives and pursue your own endeavors. Giving up your independence for a relationship could ultimately cause issues of co-dependency and if the relationship were to end, it could cause the unhealthy trait of hyper-independence within yourself.
Your Existing Relationships
Good friends or good family are hard to find, so cherish them. If a partner is asking you to end a relationship for no apparent reason, they are jealous and are trying to isolate you. This is a huge red flag! Your partner should be secure enough in themselves to allow you to pursue relationships of your own, especially if they do not have any direct harm onto your relationship with them. Jealousy will ultimately cause huge trust issues, and it is not fair on you if you are secure enough within yourself to take steps back when a relationship should be helping you grow.
Your Goals
Your goals are what drive you to become the most successful version of yourself in life and a healthy partner will stand by your drive and success. Your partner should encourage you, not hold you back. If the relationship is to end, you will regret not putting yourself and your aspirations first.
Your Freedom
As an individual you hold the right to do what you want when you want to do it. Sometimes, we must compromise when the choices we make may affect another person, but a partner should not have the right to dictate how you spend your time. Allowing this can ultimately result in controlling behavior from your partner.
Your Values and Character
You must protect the authentic you at all costs! You should not have to change yourself for a partner, so make sure that you are not losing yourself for love. If an individual decides to pursue a relationship with you, it should be under the circumstances that they are aware of your values and character and love you for that. Why would someone want a relationship with someone that they do not like? If your partner is trying to change things about you, did they really like who you were to begin with?
Your Self-Belief
A healthy relationship should make you feel more confident about yourself and your capabilities. Alarm bells should be ringing if your partner is making you feel unsure of your potential. Realistically, someone who loves you will congratulate you on your achievements – not criticize them. At the end of the day, you should not give up your self-belief for anyone because there are millions of people in the world that could try to bring you down, and you should have the confidence to keep going. A healthy partner should be an accessory to that.
Your Identity
Bonding and having similar interests are great, but do not morph into one another. This will lead you to feeling vulnerable when facing the world on your own and ties into the unhealthy fear of being single if something were to happen to your relationship. You have spent your whole life building a true identity for yourself. Do not compromise or change it to appeal to your partner. You are allowed to have your own characteristics, personality traits, and interests.
Your Happiness
Do not stay in any relationship out of habit. If you are sad, unappreciated, or just not feeling right, you need to leave. Do not let the fear of being alone stop you from pursuing your happiness. You have one life to live and not one person in the world is worth your mental health deteriorating over. Prioritize your happiness and your love for yourself over all.
Your Boundaries
Last but not least, one of the most important elements that you should never compromise for a relationship are your boundaries. If your partner respects you, then they will respect your limits, and if they do not, then they are not the right person for you. Boundaries can be personal to you, but a common example is: You would not allow yourself to be disrespected when you are dating, so why allow it months or years into the relationship? Stay strong on your boundaries and self-respect.