The movie Inside Out is a movie that we all admire, despite it being targeted for children, as we got to see the main character, Riley, gradually process her emotions and get comfortable with them. A very important message the movie covers is the idea of toxic positivity as it reminds us that it is okay not to be okay. The emotion, Joy, wanted Riley to always experience happiness without realizing that she is actually preventing Riley from experiencing any other emotion, which was very unhealthy. Toxic positivity endorses the idea that we should always maintain a positive mindset regardless of the situation itself. It can invalidate our emotions instead of reaffirming them. It gaslights the person into believing that their situation is not “that bad” and that they should not be frustrated about it. This deems itself as toxic since the person is not healthily dealing with or experiencing their emotions. Optimism is a significant ideology that many people tend to adhere to. However, toxic positivity strives to eradicate any other emotion, rendering happiness the only ideal emotion a person should feel. “Positive vibes only” or “stay positive” are two extremely cliché expressions that we tend to hear as they assert that we should maintain a positive state throughout all our incidents. Keeping a “positive vibes only” mindset will construct a façade of positivity, neglecting any other emotion.
Signs of Toxic Positivity
- Endeavoring to directly get over it – When you try to get on with something, you blatantly dismiss the true emotions that you should feel. When something drastic occurs to you, you should take the adequate amount of time to recover or just be frustrated. That is completely valid.
- Always looking at the “bright side” – When a person experiences a traumatic event, many people tell them to “look at the bright side”. Sometimes, there is no bright side. You just have to accept that the situation is a very saddening one and take the time you need to just simply feel sad.
- The “it could’ve been worse” phrase – If someone is telling you about a traumatic event that happened to them and you say that it could be worse, then you have made a huge mistake. Regardless of the extent of the situation, whatever anyone goes through is valid and should be regarded as an experience that heavily impacted the person.
- Brushing things off with “it is what it is” – Saying that would not help you acknowledge the situation itself and would imply that this certain situation is not worth discussing, meaning that you would deny that it negatively affected you, even though it did.
Avoiding Toxic Positivity
- Do not mask your emotions – Being put in an overwhelming situation can make you feel anxious, worried, or stressed, so it is completely fine to step back and take some time for yourself to manage your emotions and not deny them. Denying your emotions would just exacerbate the situation and would not help you with healing or recovering.
- Always support others – If someone is venting to you and expressing a harsh situation, make sure that you reassure them that feeling down is completely normal and valid, and do not repudiate their emotions with some toxically positive phrases.
- Be aware of what you are consuming – Social media is filled with an abundant amount of toxically positive posts. Many “positive” social media accounts preach that they want to uplift other people with their motivational posts. However, many people are left feeling guilty after viewing their posts.
Toxic positivity is usually not intended to cause harm. Often, it happens in situations when we want to help but do not know what to say – for example, if a friend reveals they received a difficult diagnosis.