Abuse, in all its forms, is a repulsive act that can lead to years of trauma for its victim. Whether the victim is a man or a woman, abuse is completely unacceptable and should not be handled lightly. Unfortunately, male victims face distinct stigmas than female survivors do, which prevents them from coming forward or even reporting the abuse itself. Statistically, 1 in 10 men have experienced rape or physical violence and an abundant number of male victims do not report it because they are afraid of being ridiculed or scorned because of the masculinity standards imposed on them.
The Stigma and How It Arose
As per the stereotype, men are “supposed to be” the ferocious, aggressive, and dominant beings while women are supposed to be sensitive, light-hearted, and submissive beings. This hierarchy sets such harsh expectations for men to the extent where it turns their emotional being into emotionless so that they do not disappoint the standards. According to the American Psychological Association, the stereotypes of masculinity can immensely affect men, rendering them self-stigmatize their own emotions, thus not wanting to talk about their problems. Due to the stereotypes, men may feel emasculated when they are abused by their partner since the stereotype suggests that men should be able to fight against the abuser. Hence, those men would think that they have to “take it” and just deal with it on their own, for they need to be “masculine” enough. Also, some men feel so ashamed of having to go through it, so they try dissociating themselves from what happened to them, which is very unhealthy as acknowledging what happened is a pivotal step. Additionally, due to the prevalent homophobia, if the victim was part of the queer community, they may be too afraid to disclose their sexuality, making it even harder to open up about it.
In the media, men are only deemed as perpetrators of abuse and not victims of it. According to a study, repeated exposure to abuse or the idea of it can cause an alteration to our thoughts and behavioral processes. So, if the exposure is solely about men, many would be oblivious to the fact that men can be victims, too, and not only perpetrators of abuse. This negatively contributes to the existing stigma, silencing men even more just to prove their masculinity.
Steps to Combat the Stigma
There are many steps that can be taken to ameliorate the impact of such a stigma. First and foremost, we should simply believe the victim. It is already very hard for a man to even open up about his trauma. So, assuming that he is lying is very absurd. Your job is to listen to the end and try being compassionate to establish a strengthened connection between you and him. The upcoming step is directed towards the victim. Finding a person that you can confide in is a significant aspect that can help you have an output. Having such a support system can help you during these traumatic times. Yes, you might not want to tell them everything. However, knowing that there is someone that wants to listen to you can be a huge asset. This next step may be a bit complicated but is necessary. Documenting the abuse is very important because you would have tangible evidence revolving around the incident itself. Ways to document the abuse include taking photos of any bruises that resulted from the abuse, keeping a calendar that showcases the instances of the abuse, or even journaling. Documenting can help the victim deal with their negative emotions and help acquire legal aid.