Every individual was raised with a certain basic timeline for life, to some extent. Often, it starts off with school and university, goes to work and marriage, and end in retirement. In recent years, we have been seeing a great transition in this concept as it goes from the traditional timeline to a flexible one that has no boundaries. Individuals within this generation are found to be happier with this transition. Each person is on a different journey with a different purpose that does not just fit into the same timeline. The common moment where the pressure of the timeline looms in is the last year of university, right before graduating and moving into the “real world”. Most senior students often ask themselves the same questions. What is my next step? Do I purse a post-graduate degree or get a job? How do I find a job? Why do I feel so pressured? What do I do with my life?
The Stress in Perspective
At some point, every single one of us has asked ourselves questions that are quite difficult to process about our life. Because of the difficulty, we are at risk of developing mental health issues related to the topic. To grasp a better perspective, I asked graduating students around a university campus how their mental health has been with the upcoming graduation.
One student says, “Personally, I am counting down the days to graduate this winter, but I am faced with this bottling wave of anxiety between whether I should pursue a post-graduate degree or take the job offer I have on the table. My friends and family have not made things easier as they have shoved their opinions down my throat without giving me a clear explanation on why they want me to go with plan A or B. Everything is just overwhelming because this decision is going to determine how my life is going to look like for the next few years.” As students, we are often pressured to look towards the life we are going to live in our 20s – the very immediate future as it is the one that matters most. This pressure causes immense anxiety as factors such as time-sensitive offers and familial judgement sets in.
Another student shares, “Graduating stirs up a lot of emotions of uncertainty. On one hand, I am proud of what I was able to accomplish. On another hand, I am completely confused about my choices regarding my career. Many questions that have no clear answer about further studies and work are settling in, causing me a lot of stress.” The flood of emotions that follow uncertainty are difficult to understand as they do not make sense most of the time. Weighing in on the uncertainty for the future comes hand in hand with the decision of what the next step is – the defining factor that would make it count the most. Moreover, a student reveals that, to her, “graduating is both exciting and terrifying because I feel like I am entering a new era of my life and gaining more independence. However, gaining more independence and control terrifies me cause them I am held responsible for the potential failure that comes with this new stage of life.” The fear of starting a new leaf in an unfamiliar place and having a different experience causes a whole new type of pressure – the pressure of being an independent individual building their life in their 20s. The timeline that assumes that failure in your 20s means it will follow with you for the rest of that timeline sets in again, when in reality, these years are the time to make mistakes, learn from them, and build a strong self for your future.
Two other students also weighed in on a similar experience. “Graduating next semester is a huge new chapter of my life. Feeling anxious about my future and having my parents pressuring me to take leaps in a career path I do not want to take will be expected.” “I am feeling anxious about the next steps I have to take in my life. Despite knowing what I want to do, adjusting to a new chapter of my life is scaring me a bit.” It not only comes back to fear and pressure that is caused by the idea of “the next step”, but it also brings in the idea that this small decision will have a great impact on our personal and professional lives.
A Reminder
There should not be a timeline that you feel pressured by. This article is to remind those in a similar mental state that you are not alone and that these thoughts are extremely normal for everyone, including myself. The anxiety, fear, and pressure caused by our surrounding environment makes this one choice 10 times harder to achieve as we lose sight of our personal goals. The decision-making process becomes a cloud that blurs our goal in life. We have to keep reminding ourselves and each other that the next step may be daunting, but is going to be like everyone has mentioned: the next chapter in each of our Books of Life.