We all want our needs to be met efficiently. Sometimes, there can be people who will go to great lengths to manipulate others to get what they want. Frequently, such emotional impact is hidden and looks like a kind gesture. However, if you learn how to recognize the main manipulative methods, you may never fall prey to these individuals.
The term “gaslighting” is often used to identify manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory, or thoughts. A manipulative person might twist what you say and make it about them, hijack the conversation, or make you feel like you have done something wrong when you are not quite sure you have.
It is interesting, though, that a manipulative individual does not always display defensive and combative mannerisms. Sometimes, they seem to be the sweetest, kindest people – until you discover that they have hidden agendas that are far from friendly.
How to Spot Manipulative People
Following are a few attributes of manipulative people, so you could know what to watch out for when one comes your way. Understanding these basic mechanisms can help prevent you from getting pulled into a manipulative relationshipor situation.
- A manipulator avoids responsibilities for his own conduct by blaming others for causing it. It is not that manipulative people do not understand what responsibility is, because they do. A manipulative person just sees nothing wrong with refusing to take responsibility for their actions, even while making you take responsibility for yours. Ultimately, they may try to get you to take responsibility for satisfying their needs, leaving no room for fulfilling yours.
- Manipulative people enjoy making you feel bad through evil or hurtful comments, hidden beneath the cover of “being funny”. They will commonly accuse you of having no sense of humor if they notice that you are affected by their comments. Never negate your own feelings or fall into agreement with their “reasonable” suggestions that you are just “overreacting”. You know what you perceived, and you know what you feel.
- Manipulators love to control people and situations. They feel compelled and obligated to take control. Overtly, they will do whatever they can to dictate your actions, thoughts, and feelings. They gamble with your emotions and try to make you think that you might be the one who is “overreacting.”
You may be asking yourself how you should deal with a manipulative person now that you have identified them and their commonly reoccurring behaviors.
If someone is taking advantage of you and exploiting you for their own gain, it may be worth keeping your distance for a while. Take some time away and only go back when you really have to. This will give you some space so you can reflect on the way that you have been treated.
Being involved with manipulative people can be straining, not only will it cause stress and anxiety to yourself, but it can also affect your mood and day-to-day life. If you feel as though your relationship with this person is causing this to happen to you, it is probably time to end the relationship with the individual.