Self-deprecating humor is a method of neutralizing negative information and comments about oneself. It is often used when people belittle and demean themselves in the form of humor, usually as a coping mechanism. It serves as a way to laugh at yourself without being overly serious. This type of humor has flourished among millennials and Gen-Z, especially on social media.
When can I use self-deprecating humor?
Many individuals use this form of humor as a coping or defense mechanism as a way to beat everyone else around them to the qualities they regard as flaws. Many comedians specialize and thrive on self-deprecating jokes such as, those of which include Pete Davidson and Amy Schumer. In a study by Andrea Samson and James Gross, it was reported that participants who had a funny response to negative stimuli had a higher positive effect.
Hence, self-deprecating humor can be used to laugh at our little slip-ups instead of beating ourselves up about it.
New studies illustrate that a self-deprecating sense of humor actually promotes psychological well-being. While this may seem unlikely at first, it actually makes a lot of sense. Being perfect is sometimes impossible to maintain, and failure often floods us with anxiety. Taking a jab at yourself alleviates this pressure and creates a lighthearted tone.
However, there is a limit to self-deprecation and should not be used as anything more than comedy.
When does self-deprecating humor become dangerous?
It is very easy to confuse the idea of self-deprecating “humor” with being rude to yourself in an extreme manner. Studying your behavior can help you identify if this is becoming more than just comedic release. Using this humor makes an individual walk a very fine line between self-deprecating humor and developing self-hate.
So, ask yourself, does my joke make the people around me laugh or does it make them uncomfortable?
This links us to the next point; you will know when your self-deprecation is dangerous if you are making these subtle jabs at yourself when you are alone. No one is around to laugh anymore, so why continue?
Hence, you can see that self-depreciation can easily stumble out of our control and we must strive to break this cycle.
Things you can do instead
If you feel like you may be stuck in this cycle of self-depreciation, here are a few ways you can use to persevere –
- When someone compliments you, say thank you! Although this is simple, we tend to belittle our achievements. Hence, a simple thank you to a compliment will help you appreciate your work.
- If you are afraid of losing your funny jokes, then just do the opposite. When someone compliments you, instead of using self-deprecating humor, you can boast and gas yourself up! The person you are interacting with will probably participate in this banter, and this lightens the tone of the conversation.