Whether we like it or not, parents very often impact us in various ways. The way we are brought up, the way we are socialized, and the way we behave all play a role in how our personality gets shaped growing up. Even when parents do not know how to deal with critical matters, it impacts us negatively, especially when said critical matters are things related to mental health and mental disorders, of which many parents in the Middle East are too often not accustomed to dealing with.
Negative Reactions
When being informed of a child suffering from a certain mental health issue or a trauma, many parents may not behave in the proper way, and this, unfortunately, may be detrimental. Awareness should be raised to show parents more appropriate guidelines detailing how to react to a child trying to talk to them about their mental health and how to communicate with the child in a regular way. It is essential that parents understand the seriousness of the situation they are in and that any wrong move could lead to a domino effect.
This discomfort that may be felt due not understanding what your child is going through or why they feel the way that they do is understandable. It is not something a parent is exactly accustomed to – at least to those who have never suffered from a mental illness before. However, a negative reaction to this is not permissible nor is it acceptable. It is quite frankly the opposite, and it has long-lasting effects on the child. The first of those reactions being the plummeting of their self-esteem to the ground and the heightening of their lack of comfort in their own feelings and skin. It makes it seem as though there is something wrong with what they are going through or what they went through, not to mention the shame that accompanies them.
A Few Pointers
There are a couple of points that parents could tackle when dealing with kids who are struggling with their mental health. These include –
- Rather than striving to want to fix the issue or change a situation, be present with your child and be patient. Let them feel whatever they need to.
- Do not make it seem like it is wrong to admit that they are struggling. Normalize the fact that struggling is a normal human experience, and that they are not odd if they do not feel okay.
- You could re-frame the struggle in a certain way, but not such that it diminishes or makes light of the problem at hand.
- Let them know that you are here to stay, no matter what the issue is.
- Do not ignore their cries for help and normalize the discomfort that you may feel. However, do not let it control the way you react.
The way parents deal with a struggling child is one of the most important factors that shape the way a child reacts to their own situation. Parents need to always think twice before stating things that may be triggering. They should listen to their kids and provide the help that they need in a productive, and not belittling, way. Do not let your discomfort overrule your ability to handle dire situations in appropriate ways. Be there for your kid.