You may underestimate how toxic your behaviors might be, not knowing that your actions could be affecting someone else, as well as yourself. Not everyone is perfect, and we know that. There will always be aspects of yourself that you can improve on, whether it is in your relationship, friendships, or any environment that you are in. It is inevitable that our own behavioral traits may conflict with our surroundings from time to time, especially if they are toxic behaviors.
However, when it comes down to unhealthy traits of our own, not everyone may realize how to recognize them nor how to correct these actions. This is important if they are affecting your everyday life. Oftentimes, we tend to quickly blame other people for our own downfalls, when in reality, it takes an emotionally healthy person to look into their own part of the situation.
Ask Yourself – “Am I Self-Aware?”
Being self-aware means that you are being honest with yourself and having an open mind to improving your behavioral habits. Admitting these behaviors when confronted helps you recognize that the problem is not necessarily always the other person, but that it could be you.
We tend to think of self-awareness as being very self-focused. Taking the time to rewind, as well as pausing and reflecting in on our own behavioral traits and the areas we could improve on, is important for emotional and mental growth and development. This is not just targeted towards certain people with criteria that fit into those toxic behaviors, but also for everyone else. We all need to take some time off for ourselves to recollect our energy and reflect upon how we are feeling every day.
Identifying Your Own Toxicity
Although we may agree that removing toxic people from our circle is always a good idea, but what if that “toxic friend” is you? We might all have some toxic traits in ourselves that we would not admit to. Some of us feed into them without noticing, and some may nurture those traits unconsciously. However, depending on how many times you let yourself exercise these toxic patterns, these behaviors can become so deeply engraved into us that we are often unable to see them. However, after all, when those behaviors become a part of your life, they are hard to unlearn.
Below are some examples of toxic and unhealthy behaviors –
- Manipulation
- Making others feel bad about themselves
- Judgment
- Negativity
- Passive-aggressiveness
- Narcissism
- Anger management problems
- Being controlling
- Constantly blaming everything and everyone around them
- Irresponsibleness
- Gas lighting
- Inconsistency
There are so many toxic traits that people tend to develop, either due to an unstable home growing up, developing self-conscious issues, or much more. However, if you have identified yourself to having these traits, then it is time to take a deep look in the mirror and think about how you are going to turn your life around.
Living amongst toxicity is not good for you, neither for those around you. It may take some time and self-dedication to genuinely change your habits into better ones. Some people tend to not believe that they are the toxic friend or partner, and that can cause so much self-deprecation within the relationship or friendship. You may not realize how much harm you are causing the other person to feel.
How to Stop Toxic Habits
Maintain some kind of gratitude – Being grounded and grateful for the things and people you have in your life can fill up a void inside you that is making you feel less than what you are. Staying self-focused and driven can keep you away from comparing yourself to others and can remove some negative thoughts you may have. You can do so much to recognize the things you are grateful for. You can think about what you are grateful for at the start of your day and when you are in bed before you sleep, keep a gratitude journal, and practice gratitude. There is so much you can do find what helps you feel more grounded to yourself.
Stay away from negative conversations and people – Make it a habit to stay away from people who gossip too much, or even those who are just negative about everything. For example, this includes excessive complaining, not appreciating what they have, talking about others badly, bringing others down, starting arguments at any given chance, backstabbing, jealousy, etc. These people would not help you get rid of your toxic behaviors. Even though this person or group of people could be your friends or even a family member, avoid having conversations with them and telling them about the good opportunities in your life. Try to stay away from negative energy.
Practice self-care – This type of self-care is not physical self-care but mental self-care. Take care of your body and your mind. Observe how people are surrounding you, their actions, and the way they speak to each other. This can reflect on you, and you can learn to avoid these behaviors. Keep your mind healthy – practice self-love and affirmations every day.
Try not to allow stress to control you – You can never get away from stress – it comes at you almost in every form it could. However, maintaining your stress can allow you to feel in control of the way you are feeling. Sometimes, stress can overexaggerate our emotions, resulting in us being “mean” or even “ignorant” to the ones we love. Although it is not our intention to act this way, others might not understand. Therefore, maintaining your stress levels will allow you keep an open mind and have a sense of control within yourself.
Do not bottle up your feelings – Bottling up your emotions and brushing them off will not help you develop self-growth. In fact, it can eat you up and explode any time something triggers you. Whatever the case may be, if someone – could be a friend, parent, sibling, or partner – disagrees with you or says/does something you do not like, do not keep it to yourself. Confront them in a calm manner and explain what made you feel this way and what kind of changes you would like to see.