Children are often viewed as highly resilient and able to bounce back from just about any situation, but traumatic experiences in childhood can have severe, long-lasting effects well into adulthood if they are left unresolved. Childhood trauma can result from anything that makes a child feel helpless and disrupts their sense of safety and security – including sexual, physical, or verbal abuse; domestic violence; an unstable or unsafe environment; separation from a parent; neglect; bullying; serious illness; or intrusive medical procedures.
How to Heal from Childhood Trauma
If you are living with the emotional and psychological consequences of a traumatic childhood, there is hope. Here are some ways to heal your childhood trauma and reclaim your life –
- Acknowledge and recognize the trauma for what it is. Victims of childhood trauma often spend years minimizing the event or dismissing it by pretending that it did not happen or by succumbing to feelings of guilt or self-blame. The only way you can begin healing is to acknowledge that a traumatic event did occur and that you were not responsible for it.
- Reclaim control. Feelings of helplessness can carry well over into adulthood and can make you feel and act like a perpetual victim, causing you to make choices based on your past pain. When you are a victim, the past is often in control of your present. However, when you have conquered your pain, the present is controlled by you. There may always be a battle between the past and present, but as long as you are willing to let go of the old defenses and crutches you used as a child to navigate your trauma, you will be able to reclaim control of your life now and heal your pain.
- Seek support and do not isolate yourself. A natural instinct that many trauma survivors have is to withdraw from others, but this will only make things worse. A big part of the healing process is connecting to other people, so make the effort to maintain your relationships and seek support. Talk to a trusted family member, friend, or counselor and consider joining a support group for survivors of childhood trauma.
- Take care of your health. Your ability to cope with stress will increase if you are healthy. Establish a daily routine that allows you to get plenty of rest, eat a well-balanced diet, and exercise regularly. Most importantly, stay away from alcohol and drugs. These might provide temporary relief but will inevitably increase your feelings of depression, anxiety, and isolation and can worsen your trauma symptoms.
- Learn the true meaning of acceptance and letting go. Just because you accept something does not mean that you are embracing your trauma or that you like it or agree with it. Acceptance means that you have decided what you are going to do with it. You can decide to let it rule your life, or you can decide to let it go. Letting go does not mean that it is magically gone. Letting go means no longer allowing your bad memories and feelings of a bad childhood to rob yourself of living a good life now.
Be patient with yourself. When you have been seriously hurt as a child, you tend to develop out-of-control emotions, hopelessness, defense mechanisms, and warped perceptions that are difficult to let go of. It will take a lot of time and hard work to let go of these feelings. Be patient with yourself and honor your progress, no matter how small it may seem. It is the little victories in your recovery that will eventually help you win the battle of healing your childhood trauma.