We live in a society where people are constantly striving for perfection. People want the perfect job, perfect marriage, perfect children, etc. These are ideals that will likely never get met. Too often, people become so focused on reaching “perfection” that they lose sight of the progress they make along the way.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism involves a tendency to set standards that are so high that they either cannot be met or are only met with great difficulty. Perfectionists often feel stressed or disappointed with themselves for not being able to meet their standards. They believe that they should never make mistakes and that making a mistake means that they are a failure or a horrible person. At the heart of perfectionism is fear – the fear of failure, the fear of making a mistake, and the fear of being judged. For a perfectionist, these fears can be paralyzing and can play out as a continuous message that says, “I am not good enough.” Often when we set new goals, we start out excited and confident that things will go perfectly. However, as time goes on, people lose some of that excitement as challenges set in. When people face challenging times, they too often give up and resign to the fact that their goal is not possible. Many may think that one desire for perfection may help them reach their goals, but in fact, it holds them back.
Progress
Progress is defined as “forward or onward movement toward a destination or goal.” Progress is about the journey and the learning we make along the way. It is about improvement, not perfection. In the progressive mindset, we feel good about ourselves now, and even though we can acknowledge there is room for improvement, we appreciate ourselves at every incremental step towards our goal. Progress is a simple and positive concept, yet most people have difficulty with it. Focusing on progress instead of perfection can make it much easier and enjoyable to reach your goals.
How to Focus on Progress Over Perfection
One way to move out of perfectionism is to replace self-critical talk with realistic or helpful statements even if you do not believe them right away. Enough repetition will turn positive realistic thoughts into a habit. Another approach in shifting from a mindset of perfection to progress is trying to see things from a different perspective. You can challenge your self-thoughts with questions such as, “What have I done well that I can acknowledge and celebrate? What have I learned from something that did not go well?”
If we are constantly focusing on perfection, then we are constantly setting ourselves up for incessant feelings of disappointment and discouragement. If we focus on progress, we are learning, growing, and most likely enjoying the coaching journey.